Monday 21 February 2011

Flutter

A ribbon of dirty plastic flutters in a bare tree: I am lost and tainted.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Such a sad image. Lost, maybe, tainted no.

Jean said...

This is meant to be the message from the fluttering ribbon, not from me!

It brings up an interesting point. I could have written "I am lost and tainted, it seems to say", or something like that. It reads better, stronger, without. But obviously it's not clear enough. These exercises in very brief writing really make you confront these choices.

Lucy said...

No, have the courage not to add the disclaimer, it is better without and it's very important that we don't have to over-protect each other from worry or offence like that.